How did I unconsciously contribute to the Ocean Plastic Garbage Issue?
How did I solve effectively on a personal level?
Working from home and being in a phase of writing a lot can get a person into a rod.
Today, I’m catching the last fall sun before the seasonal rain for the Pacific Northwest comes around the end of October. The winters on the Pacific West Coast are known for their long rain falls, which often last for a month without breaking. On the other hand, that’s why the Washington State is called the “Evergreen State.” I’m simply getting ready for a seasonal change.
While swinging on my bicycle and enjoying my ride through a lot of greenery and park areas, of about 14 miles all together from home to Starbucks, I usually will work there for a while before riding back home to do some more desk work. A lot creative writing work is in store for the next three months, along with working with clients and making content and fun videos.
I feel so blessed that I can now arrange my day as it fits to my lifestyle. That wasn’t always like this. Now I can integrate a lot of fun things into my work staying active, fit, and productive.
My little haven is perfect when I get the table at Starbucks where some more sunlight shines on the table and chair, penetrating the sun’s warmth after coming in from my bike ride.
Usually, I look through my emails and social media before I begin to go into creating content. But I also allow myself to be inspired, like today, to share life with readers like you:
After checking out a little two minute video clip, a Zhineng Qigong colleague and dear friend of mine, Maarten van Opstal, posted on Facebook, I begin to feel deeply disturbed and actually stop all my activities…which means a lot to me, someone who is ready to rock the boat and start working on content.
If I would give that inner pull a voice, it may sound like this: ‘Simone, you better listen to this – NOW.’
I can be very resistant to other people’s pushy requests, but this inner voice is so much different and I know it NEVER EVER has guided me to my disadvantage.
So, here I am…in the middle of a busy Starbucks coffee store at 9am in the morning…Going into the deep state and sensation of my internal being.
After being startled, I begin to wonder:
“What does the plastic problem have to do with me right now?”
Again…Whenever this intensity of inner voice comes up, I can’t ignore it. Not today…not now. I had no answer for that…not right away and for sure not an answer and thought pattern or memory that I, nor you, probably would have expected.
Not knowing the answer, I intensified and allowed my feelings to take over… rushing through my veins, arteries, nerves making me feel really heavy and dark inside, a numb feeling. (I’m sure nobody likes to go freely into that feeling. But I know better and would rather allow it to come.)
It did remind me of the feeling that I would describe as emptiness.
It’s not my most favorite thing in the world to sink into this deep, dark, bottomless hole…I feel actually very scared. Powerless.
It felt exactly as if I were sinking into the deep ocean water – slowly sinking and effortlessly sinking deeper and deeper. The pressure increased and strangly at the same time I became bigger and bigger, expanding into each part of my internal ocean…
Suddenly I realized:
“Oh,…I sink also into the plastic.” The ocean and my body are the same. The ocean is my body and I can feel the plastic inside of meat well as I’m submerged into the ocean water.”
Strange parallels. But I didn’t questioning it. I felt now:
I am the ocean AND also I felt all food that acts in my body as the plastic does in the ocean. Pictures of pills and capsules, chemicals in food, as well as pesticides, seemed to be synonymous for the plastic garbage in the ocean within myself. As I encountered more plastic in the ocean, the more disconnected and isolated I felt inside.
Soon, the plastic turned under the pressure of the ocean water into a mesh of one big, clear plastic soup that surrounded me. Like a plastic bubble it isolated me completely from the ocean water and filled my internal body with plastic (note on the site…wasn’t there an exhibition called: “Body Worlds” that did utilize this idea to preserve each part of the body…maybe all future beings will find parts of us fully preserved… mammoths where found frozen in ice or earth mass…smile… so that other beings can trace back how we extinct ourselves???)
At this moment I panicked, but could stay with my feelings and physical sensations of pressure in my whole body, that locked me into a tied position. My heart rate went up, almost exploding my chest and center of my head. Breathing became very difficult and so shallow, I got hot which caused me to profusely sweat.
The sensations even increased when the complete outside and inside of my body felt wrapped with a fine plastic film like a spider web, including my main organs, my arteries, my nerves, and simply everything inside of me.
Now tightly wrapped and not being able to move even one tiny inch – I felt so mashed, pressured, breathless – no way out. I am not sure how long I stood in this frozen state…it felt like centuries.
But suddenly…a clear internal command: ‘Breathe out. Expand into it.’ Strangely it I felt so good… when I really did breath out – long and slowly – I felt the expansion like an extreme explosion of FREEDOM…even though this is in my imagination and based on a memory, it feels very real.
Suddenly the stored memory surfaced:
With the breath out and the expansive release, the darkness also changed into a bright and sunny place with different noises. The scenery completely changed. I took a deep breath in – very strong lights…OMG…it’s my own birth!!!
I never could have thought about this. A memory of my natural birth got stuck in the tissues of my body. It has been triggered with the Plastic Garbage Issue…Being squeezed, pressured, pushed through.
I had learned before that natural birth is precisely intended to squeeze and massage the newborn body in order to activate all systems.
I was not expecting to re-experience this intensive moment, of coming into this physicality body and for sure I didn’t know how traumatic it was for my body.
Wouldn’t you agree that this is a quite unexpected connection?
have been and how things in this world connect us to other people, things, events, wishes, dreams.
My personal take out:
As long as we stay numb and resistant, we actually stay distant to the origin of our feelings. How do we want to find the inner truth, when we cannot listen to, feel and follow individually our internal guidance or feelings? Our intellectual mind alone is not capable of understanding everything nor place it in broad enough context.
When we want to find more expanded answers we better include the intellect, emotions, body sensations equally!!!
Today I learnt that the trash outside and my inner trash in form of not supportive belief and behaviors coming from my childhood or better said from my birth…have been connected. I’m more awareness about the plastic garbage issue for myself, alerting me to take better actions on my end…Since I know how the ocean feels about it.
And not just that…
It all starts with each one of us…
Any comment? Any sharing or experience?
Any link to check out on the plastic garbage issue?
Love and Light